The Whoops Factor, the beginning

The Whoops Factor

Everyone has the WHOOPS Factor in their life.  Things happen, life happens and takes you on a path that you never imagined.  We are all made up our stories, our choices, our plans that change with life.
If you have a Whoops Factor in your life it doesn’t mean that you are unhappy.  It just means that you got something you didn’t expect.  Speaking of EXPECT or EXPECTING–some whoops happen in front of an EPI strip turning pink.


In October 2003, I was invited to be part of a women’s retreat in Napa run by Ellie Coppola and a close friend Arlene Bernstein.  It was a month after my dear mother had passed away.  At first I was going to cancel.  I didn’t think I could handle it.  Arlene who is a psychologist, thought the retreat was a wonderful healing opportunity, to think and explore my feelings.  The women were all incredibly accomplished and inspiring.  It was a gift  to have the time to think about my mother and to reflect on our many years together as mother and daughter.  I felt the loss deeply. I had lost my mother and suddenly I realized that I would never be a mother.  My life had evolved and I had a really big Whoops.  For me it was Whoops, I Forgot to Have Kids.
That retreat inspired me to write a play about my relationship with my mother.  Whoops, I Forgot to Have Kids is a one woman show with music.  It is the story of a woman’s struggle to come to grips with not having children and yet make some sense of life.  In her journey she copes with loss, specifically the loss of her mother and the loss of her role as “mother”.  My conception for the Play was that it would be set in my mother’s closet, the closet of ”our“ history, a metaphorical closet that reveals memories through objects, stories, songs and the social context of the times. The play is about mothers and daughters and the exploration of the sometimes joyful, sometimes painful intensity of that relationship, particularly as it pertains to daughters who do not become mothers.  What does it mean to be a woman in today’s world and not have children?  Can we separate motherhood from female identity? Can a woman be a “complete woman” without having children?  How can we give birth to a creative and fulfilled life?
I’m interested in hearing about your Whoops story, your perspective on this journey and adventure that we all call LIFE.