It's never too late to be what you might have been--George Eliot

It's never too late to be what you might have been--George Eliot

On the finale of Brothers and Sisters, Sally Fields quoted George Eliot at Sarah and Luke's wedding.

(Mary Anne Evans was one of the leading writers of the Victorian Era.  She used a male pen name to ensure that her works would be taken seriously.)

Make your 40's and Beyond the best years of your life

Sarah Brokaw, a therapist, author and daughter of NBC's Tom Brokay went on a quest to find the key to making the second half of her life the best yet. She describes her journey in her new book "FortyTude: Making the Next Decades the Best Years of your Life-Through the 40's, 50' s and Beyond. I'm looking forward to reading this.

I Love My Children, I Hate My Life

I Love My Children, I Hate My Life Friends of mine are always sending me articles and surveys about how much happier people are who don't have kids.   I think they are just trying to make me feel better because I wrote a play called Whoops, I Forgot to Have Kids.  I read this article last year --The writer said" From the perspective of the species its perfectly unmysterious why people have children.  From the perspective of the individual, however, its's more of  a mystery than one might think. Most people assume that having children will make them happier.  Yet a wide variety of academic research shows that parents are not happier than their childless peers, and in many cases are less so."  What do you think?  Is that true?When people are asked to answer anonymously-- Would you do it again? -- a surprising number say--" I'd get a dog instead.  If I knew what I was getting myself into I wouldn't have had kids at all.  You are never free from their problems.   My mother would actually say something like that to me.  She would say " Having you was the best thing that ever happened to me, but having kids is not the be all and end all.

SOOOO What do you think?

After one of my readings....

After one of my readings of Whoops, I Forgot to Have Kids in East Hampton a few summers ago a friend who was there with her mother came up to me and said " As you know, I have three wonderful kids, a set of adorable twin girls who give me a run for my money and a great son who loves sailing and keeps us very busy.  I obviously did not forget to have kids, but I did forgot about me and what I wanted to do with my life.

The Whoops Factor, the beginning

The Whoops Factor

Everyone has the WHOOPS Factor in their life.  Things happen, life happens and takes you on a path that you never imagined.  We are all made up our stories, our choices, our plans that change with life.
If you have a Whoops Factor in your life it doesn’t mean that you are unhappy.  It just means that you got something you didn’t expect.  Speaking of EXPECT or EXPECTING–some whoops happen in front of an EPI strip turning pink.


In October 2003, I was invited to be part of a women’s retreat in Napa run by Ellie Coppola and a close friend Arlene Bernstein.  It was a month after my dear mother had passed away.  At first I was going to cancel.  I didn’t think I could handle it.  Arlene who is a psychologist, thought the retreat was a wonderful healing opportunity, to think and explore my feelings.  The women were all incredibly accomplished and inspiring.  It was a gift  to have the time to think about my mother and to reflect on our many years together as mother and daughter.  I felt the loss deeply. I had lost my mother and suddenly I realized that I would never be a mother.  My life had evolved and I had a really big Whoops.  For me it was Whoops, I Forgot to Have Kids.
That retreat inspired me to write a play about my relationship with my mother.  Whoops, I Forgot to Have Kids is a one woman show with music.  It is the story of a woman’s struggle to come to grips with not having children and yet make some sense of life.  In her journey she copes with loss, specifically the loss of her mother and the loss of her role as “mother”.  My conception for the Play was that it would be set in my mother’s closet, the closet of ”our“ history, a metaphorical closet that reveals memories through objects, stories, songs and the social context of the times. The play is about mothers and daughters and the exploration of the sometimes joyful, sometimes painful intensity of that relationship, particularly as it pertains to daughters who do not become mothers.  What does it mean to be a woman in today’s world and not have children?  Can we separate motherhood from female identity? Can a woman be a “complete woman” without having children?  How can we give birth to a creative and fulfilled life?
I’m interested in hearing about your Whoops story, your perspective on this journey and adventure that we all call LIFE.