Whoops, I Forgot to Have Kids

Had a reading of the play I wrote and am continuing to write, Whoops, I Forgot to Have Kids with three actresses and an actor at the Lark Play Development Center in NYC. It was amazing. Really helped me see the dramatic arcs to the story. Saw some great theater in NYC. Don't miss War Horse, Book of Mormon, Other Desert Cities, Seminar on Broadway. It's never to late to be what I might have been--playwright.

Moving on

Just saw Rita Moreno at Berkeley Rep in Life Without Makeup.  She was brilliant. When interviewed in the program she said "Move On" by Stephen Sondheim is the song she would have included in the Cabaret of her life. "It deals with the complacency of being and it tells you to get up and get on with your life and get on with your art and get on with everything and just don't sit back, don't relax.."

Composing a life

Mary Catherine Bateson wrote in " Composing a Life"

Part of the secret of continuing development-especially for women, who may be pressed by social expectations into childlike positions of weakness-is the discovery through a variety of relationships that social expectations can be changed and that difference can be a source of strength rather than weakness.  We grow in dialogue , not only in the rare intensity of passionate collaboration, but through a mutiplicity  of forms of friendship and collegiality.

Not Becoming My Mother

In honor of Mother's Day, I just started Ruth Reichl's book NOT BECOMING MY MOTHER and other things she taught me along the way.  It is really resonant to me. My mother never wanted me to be anything like her.  She wanted me to have the life she never had, to be fulfilled.

I feel like my mother was like Ruth's mom, part of the women of her generation who were unlucky enough to have been born at what seems to have been the worst possible time to have been a middle-class American woman. Reichl says "there were so many labor saving devices that cooking and cleaning just didn't take that long and the women literally had nothing to do."

They were bored and unhappy.   Ruth thanks her mother on the 100th anniversary of her mom's birth for showing her by example the road she never wanted to take.  Both my mom and Ruth's mom made enormous personal sacrifices to make sure our lives did not turn out like theirs.

Thank you Ruth for writing this tribute to your mother and a whole generation of women.

Check out The Art of Possibility

I am reading The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander. Their premise is that "many of the circumstances that seem to block us in our daily lives may only appear to do so based on a framework of assumptions we carry with us."

Draw a different frame around the same set of circumstances and a WHOOPS becomes an opportunity.  I loved this one example they give, which you may of heard before.

 A shoe factory sends two marketing scouts to a region of Africa to stdy the prospects for expanding business.  One sends back word-- SITUATION HOPELESS NO ONE WEARS SHOES.

The other writes back triumphantly, GLORIOUS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY THEY HAVE NO SHOES.

On Moving On

"Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means moving on. It is one of the hardest things a person can do. Starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. We feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. But as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. We are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. It means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so."- Unknown

The Whoops Factor continues

THE WHOOPS FACTOR

When I ask people about their Whoops, they say--"I didn't forget to have kids, but....

Whoops, I forgot about me and who I am

Whoops, I forgot what I love to do

Whoops, I forgot I have a voice

Whoops, I forgot that I am creative and artistic

Whoops, I forgot I have talents

Whoops, I forgot I liked this...yum

Whoops, I forgot my dreams

Whoops, I forgot my joy and my inner child

Whoops, I forgot to remember

Whoops, I forgot where I need to be

Whoops, I forgot where I am is where I need to be

Whoops, I forgot to be mindful and to breathe

Whoops, I forgot about you

Whoops, I forgot I liked this

Whoops, I forgot to be happy

Whoops, I forgot I could write

Whoops, I forgot I could sing

Whatever your Whoops--share it.

Realizing y0u have a Whoops is the first step in moving on and growing.
Alexander Graham Bell, best known for the invention of the telephone in 1876 (one of my favorite years because it was the Centennial of our country) said
" When one door closes, another opens; but we oten look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."